During our visit we ventured to my uncle's, he has a beautiful country style home in a town close by the town in which I grew as a child. I have to say this visit became full of wonderful experiences and impressionable moments. In the picture above; that I took during my visit, this is the memorial site for my grandmother. A bench with a special notation engraved in the marble stone to sit and reflect to remember the woman I fondly called Tu Tu and the willow tree, her favorite tree, that marks the location in which the ashes of her are buried. I was unable to make it to her ceremony when she passed and I was truly disappointed for I felt I had no closure. Having visited my uncle's home and this site has now made a lasting impression that I will carry forever.
As we all sat in the kitchen eating a selection of cheeses, crackers and wine, we all spoke of TuTu amongst each other and my grandfather who has come with us to my uncles that day. I recalled how just a year before she had passed that they had come to visit me in Maine. She, my grandfather, my mother, myself and the children had made a trip to Acadia National park. My daughter had asked me on that trip how come I call my grandmother TuTu, I replied that when I was a child for some reason I called her that and it stuck. Seeing where I was the oldest grandchild all the other grandchildren followed suit. My uncle spoke up saying it seemed to fit for Tu Tu in a very short skirt and my grandmother was not but 5 feet tall. I laughed saying well all great things come in small packages, he agreed.
I have now taken this photo; framed it; it now hangs on my wall in the living room and is the center piece for a wall of family memories and photos. I did so for all of her life she was the center, the main support emotionally that held our family together. As we get older and our minds become more rigid and less Sponge Bob:) I do suggest to everyone, take pictures, write down your memoirs, not only to keep it fresh for you but to pass along to others when the time comes.
I don't see this working yet, lisa. Instead of memories, you tell us you have memories, you have a photo, you have things in your heart.
ReplyDeleteBut, in truth, you don't offer a single moment of your grandmother, not a story, not a quotation, not a thing. This is all set-up, no follow-through; all windup, not pitch.
So, a rewrite is due here.
I think the added material in 3 & 4 really makes the piece work now. That kind of story-inside-a-story (you and your daughter at your uncle's (story 1) telling the story of your grandmother) is always a snappy way to generate writing energy.
ReplyDeleteSo, you've tossed the pitch successfully and the piece works --so now let's go back and look at the picky stuff in your wind-up. Here's a list of words writers mostly use when they are uncertain that they can get the effect they want, but they are signs of weakness, not strength. If the material doesn't work, these words can't help. Here's the list: memory, wonderful, heartfilled, special, forever.
They're like spices in cooking--sometimes a little goes a long way.